The Hundred Years War
by CattyJen
Summary: Short collection of drabbles in which Sakura and Gaara share a tent during wartime.
1. Prologue

**This is something I had posted on my LJ that I decided I wanted to share with everyone. I'm starting school next week so I won't be able to update frequently. I have eight of these very very short chapters written that I'll post every so often as compensations. They're much different than anything I've written before so I hope they don't bore you. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

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Hundred.

They were calling it "the hundred years war", but not because it had lasted a hundred years. It had been five years and the war didn't look like it would be over until the entire population of shinobi had been wiped off the face of the planet. They called it the "hundred years war" because it was the worst war to have broken out among the five nations in hundreds of years.

Death did not discriminate. It wasn't just the shinobi who were dying. The casualty count of civilians was in the tens of thousands. Men, women and children of all ages were being slaughtered in their homes and towns. They didn't stand a chance against foreign shinobi who had the power to kill effortlessly.

Naruto insisted that Sakura stay away from combat for no reason other than that her skills were too valuable to risk losing in battle. So the kunoichi stayed behind at military camps and put back together the broken soldiers that survived the fighting. She fixed them up so they could go right on back out there and kill or be killed.

She had been stationed to a small village outside of Suna. Naruto had wanted his best friend to protect the Kazekage and the Kazekage to protect his best friend.

Gaara fascinated her. One moment he would be sitting calmly watching Sakura heal one of his men and the next moment waves of thick golden fury would roll off of him like steam over a pot of boiling water. The walls of the tent would vibrate from the intensity of his anger and Sakura would hear the sand furiously whipping the air around them. And then, almost as suddenly as it had begun it was over again and he was back to watching Sakura with an undecipherable expression on his face. It was a mix of forlorn, anguish, exhaustion and something Sakura couldn't recognize. She never expected him to be so forthcoming with his emotions. She expected a statue made out of hardened and sun-bleached sand.

They had been sharing a tent for two entire months before he ever spoken to her. Sure he would follow her around the room with his eyes and subject her to a deep-seated frown. And then one day out of the blue he opens his mouth and says, "Even if it were not for Naruto's whishes I would still protect you with my life."

To say that Sakura was unnerved would be an understatement. His unusually monotonic voice was rich with conviction and resoluteness. She told herself that it was just his way of saying that he would protect an asset. He was referring to Sakura's worth as a medic and not to any profound feelings for her. She should have taken comfort or maybe even pride from his words but instead she felt confusion. When she would lie awake at night waiting for him to return from battle she would recite his words over and over again in her mind. Even if she wasn't sure why, he cared about her. Sakura needed to hear that someone alive still cared for her.

It was dusk and the base was silent. All of the regular inhabitants were safe within the boundaries camp but one. Sakura tended to the shinobi in the infirmary and tried to keep her mind off Gaara's absence. It wasn't unusual for him to be missing. He was the Kazekage after all. He had important business to tend to. Sometimes he was gone for weeks at a time. This knowledge did nothing to suppress her anxieties.

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**I know, I know, short and strange. It's my first try at writing something Narutoversey. This is only a prologue, thought it won't get much more exciting than this.... or will it? I guess you'll have to read and find out. **

**Reviews are much, much appreciated. **


	2. Blood

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

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Blood.

Sakura gasped. She didn't know what to expect when he finally came through the flaps of their tent but she certainly wasn't expecting there to be so much blood. He was drenched from head to toe and the stench was repugnant. She covered her mouth and her nose with her hand and stared at him wide eyed in horror. Blood was hardly a foreign sight to her but she found herself struggling to overcome the shock of seeing the only real company (albeit aloof) bathed in death. A sense of panic overtook her. "You're hurt?" she asked in a trembling voice.

"It's not my blood," Gaara answered tonelessly. "It's never my blood."

Sakura's eyes welled with tears and she felt the wetness staining her cheeks. "It'll be over soon," she didn't know whether she was talking to him or just herself. He answered nonetheless.

"It will never be over."

But she didn't deal in miracles. She used chakra not magic. She couldn't always save their lives; sometimes she failed. Right now he was asking for her to just save his life. He wanted her to give him hope. She held out her hand to him. "Come with me," he told him.

He took her hand and Sakura inhaled sharply. She tried to ignore the squelch of dripping blood between their hands and debated how he would react to her using her chakra to calm his body's shivering. It was almost midnight and the temperature outside the tent was below freezing. His skin was ice cold.

They had one luxury that on some days Sakura was convinced was the only thing that kept them going: hot showers. Her hands were slick with enemy blood and she fumbled with the knobs. Eventually she prevailed and steaming water rained down from the showerhead. The air in the room became humid and made his smell almost unbearable. Instinctually she pulled him under the stream and watched the water wash away the blood.

Her mind was telling her to step back and leave him but instead she stepped forward under the spray and reached upwards to clean the blood off his forehead and from his hair.

The hot water seeped through her clothes and made the material stick to her frame like a second skin. She bit her bottom lip and got to work unfastening the buttons and clips on his shirt while he stood motionless with his eyes closed letting the shower rinse him clean. She peeled the fabric off of his skin leaving his torso naked. She was hesitant to touch him. His muscles looked painted on and she didn't want to smear them. Finally, she reached behind him and grabbed the soap off the ledge. She gently massaged his chest with the slippery bar and washed away the suds with her hand.

She didn't notice his hand until she heard the sound of a zipper and looked down to see him starting to undress her too. She felt her cheeks grow warm and not from the heat of the water. When he noticed that she had frozen he stopped too. He opened his eyes and stared down into hers silently asking her whether or not he could continue. She nodded slightly and stared down at the ground. Gaara pushed the straps off her shoulders and Sakura watched her vest drop down to the ground.

Her heart was beating slowly as she unwrapped her chest binding. She didn't know what she was doing and she certainly didn't know why she was doing it. She could only understand the desire to feel his skin against hers. She let the binding fall to the floor. She watched the white material turn pink as it absorbed the water and blood. She began to realize that if she were to go any deeper down this hole she would be in over her head. She could not afford to be in over her head.

Sakura folded her arms protectively over her chest and shrugged her shoulders apologetically. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I'm sorry," was all she was able to say before dashing out of the bathroom.

Part of her was devastated that he didn't try to stop her.

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**Thanks for reading! Leave me a review? Or even better, send me some good luck for my school week. Good luck to all of you out there who are starting school too!**


	3. Insomnia Dessert

**The first part was too short to let stand alone so I put two parts in one chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

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Insomnia.

It was too hot to sleep. Even in her flimsiest nightgown Sakura was certain that her body temperature was well above one hundred degrees (though her thermometer begged to differ). She wanted to open the flaps of the tent to let the cool air in but she had been warned about wandering sandstorms that consistently threatened the camp when the Kazekage was no where to be found.

She tried to make a habit of falling asleep before Gaara returned at night. During the day she hid in the infirmary tent, busying herself with the wounded. She did everything and anything she had to do to avoid being alone with him.

"You don't have to pretend to be sleeping," he finally said one night. "I won't bother you."

Sakura ignored him and continued to lie still with her eyes shut tightly. He would persist to bother her even if she were asleep; she would see him in her dreams.

Dessert.

She had just finished doing her rounds in the infirmary when the Kazekage himself cornered her coming out of the tent.

"Here." Gaara handed her what appeared to be an ice cream cone. "This is for you."

Sakura raised an eyebrow but took the cone from him. It wasn't cold but it wasn't melting. "Is this ice cream?" she asked, confusion etched on her face.

"It's called Dondurma," explained Gaara. "It's like ice cream… but not…"

"Oh, um thank you." Sakura tried to smile. It took her a moment to realize that he was staring expectantly at her because he was waiting for her to try some. She leaned forward to lick the _Dondurma_ only to find that it was tougher and chewier, almost taffy like in texture. Sakura couldn't decide whether or not she found the sticky sweetness disgusting or not. "This is interesting, thank you."

He nodded. "This village used to be famous for this dessert… back when there were still goats to milk."

Sakura raised the cone wondering when he was going to move and let her though. "Thank you," she said for a third time. "This was very thoughtful of you." She tried to duck around him but he caught her wrist.

"Wait," he said. "Sakura," his eyes searched hers. "You need to eat more. Eat anything. Eat something. The nurses say that haven't been eating."

She froze. Her dietary habits were none of his business. "I eat when I'm hungry," she told him. "Now if you'll excuse me…" she tried to push past him again but he had not let go of her arm.

"Sakura, please. Naruto asked me to take care of you."

"Is that all?" Sakura yanked her arm and broke free of his grip. She stared up at him, eyes blazing. "You're only worried about me because Naruto told you to take care of me?"

Gaara looked away from her. "You don't want to hear otherwise."

Sakura took a step back. "There has been nothing to suggest otherwise." Her tone was incredulous. "There _is_ no otherwise."

He stood up straighter and the light went out in his eyes. "Okay then. Do whatever you want. I _don't_ care."

And then he left her there, standing with Dondurma in her hand and a heavy heart in her chest.

Part of her was devastated that she didn't have the guts to stop him.

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**It kind of amazed me how different this is from my usual. The upcoming chapters have more action in them. I'm not done with the series yet, but hopefully it is all building up to something. **

**I told myself that I would wait a week to post this but I'm terribly impatient. I can't stand having finished chapters on my computer that I'm not doing anything with. If I don't post them how am I supposed to move on to write something else? I'm trying to work through this so I can get back into one of my other stories. Augh. My brain is ridiculous. **

**THANKS to all my loyal readers who seem to review and support anything I post. Feel free to tell me what you think! **

**Leave some more reviews~!?**


	4. Festival Dress Flower

**I thought I would have some restraint in posting these, but that doesn't seem to be the case.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

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Festival.

"We've been invited to the festival in one of the neighboring villages," said Sakura. "They asked for you by name. They call you 'the sand lord."

Gaara looked up from his scroll and furrowed his brow. "Festival? What kind of festival?"

"It's called 'the day of the dead'. It celebrates the lives of family and friends who have died. It honors them," she explained.

He frowned. "We don't have time for festivals. There is a war going on."

"One night." She shifted her weight between her legs. "We can just go for one night."

"We? As in you and me?" his voice had a hopeful edge to it. "You and me for a night?"

"No," she said slowly. "It would be you, me, and an entire village."

He put down the scroll and looked thoughtful for a moment. "I suppose that might work."

"Okay," Sakura took a deep breath, "We'll leave here a little before sunset."

Dress.

"You cannot wear that," said a pushy black haired woman with a bottle of tequila in one hand and a hairbrush in the other. "You cannot come to the festival in such clothes."

Sakura looked over her shoulder to see if Gaara had returned from talking to the village leader. She needed someone to talk her out of punching the woman. "What's wrong with my clothes?" she asked defensively. Sakura was wearing what she thought were inoffensive brown pants and a camel colored tank top. Nights were much warmer in this village than they were at the desert campsite.

"Why should your boyfriend want to make love to you when you wear the clothing of a street sweeper?" The woman took Sakura's hand and pulled her into a nearby hut. "How will you bear his children if he will not make love to you?"

Sakura felt her cheeks burning red. "The Kazekage is _not_ my boyfriend. He won't want to touch me even if I were wearing something seductive." But she couldn't forget how carefully he had begun to undress her that night in the shower. "He definitely doesn't want me to have his children."

"I will change his thinking," said the woman. She shoved a bundle of black cloth at Sakura. "Put this on and he will never look at another woman again."

It was then that Sakura realized that she didn't want Gaara to look at other women. She exhaled quietly. "Alright." She unfolded the cloth and held it up to her frame. "Do you think it will fit?"

"Why wouldn't it?" said the woman with a knowing smile. "It was made for you."

Flowers.

"Sakura!" called a voice from behind her. "Sakura!"

Sakura turned around and saw Gaara weaving through the crowd trying to catch up to her. She waited for him because something about this scene gave her a cool fluttering sensation in her chest. She smiled despite herself.

There was something magical about this night. It wasn't that if she tilted her head back and looked up at the sky she could see every glittering white star in the galaxy. It wasn't the warm yellow candles that lit up the life around her. It wasn't the sound of maracas shaking and women singing. It wasn't the smell of steaming egg bread fresh out of the oven. No, it was something in the air; a strange buzzing vibration that reminded her of her grandfather's wheezy laugh.

Gaara's eyes were wide. "When did you change your clothes?"

Sakura adjusted the hem of the short black dress in an effort to make it cover more of her upper thighs. It was a beautiful dress. The material was soft cotton that felt reassuring on her skin. But what made the dress truly unique was the intricate green and pink embroidery that adorned the fabric like an overgrown and wild garden. "Just now. Some strange woman gave it to me." She smiled shyly. "Do you like it?"

Gaara didn't answer instead he handed her a bouquet of yellow flowers that she just noticed he was holding. "These are for you."

She took the flowers from him and held them up to her face so she could smell them. They smelled like Gaara. "Thank you," she said. Without thinking she stood up on her toes and planted the softest and swiftest kiss on his cheek. When she looked at his face she was surprised to see that he was frowning.

"Don't tease me, Sakura," he said seriously.

Sakura flushed, embarrassed. "I don't-"

"I'm going back to the camp," he cut her off. "The woman who gave you the dress was the village leader's wife. I've already thanked him for it. It's a gift, keep it."

"Gaara…" Sakura's heart was beating painfully against her rib bones. "It's not you, it's me."

His jaw clenched. "You can find your way back by yourself?" he asked.

Sakura nodded. "Please understand, I-"

"Goodnight."

Sakura watched his retreated form immerse itself into the crowd and she began to doubt the magic in the air.

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**Thanks! To everyone who reviewed the last chapter!**

**In exactly twelve hours I'll be in class. YIKES!**

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	5. Stones Dessert II

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

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Stones.

"Bed rest means bed rest, Kazekage-sama," said Sakura when she finally found Gaara. She couldn't imagine what he was doing sitting on the outskirts of the village overlooking miles of dunes. "Dehydration is not something that should be taken lightly."

"I'm fine now," Gaara replied, an air of stubbornness to his tone.

Sakura sat down next to him. "Don't over estimate your abilities," she warned.

"Were you worried about me?" he asked quietly.

"The entire camp was worried about you."

"I see." Gaara furled his arm back and shot a handful of stones across the dunes.

"What are you…?" Sakura spotted the bulging leather pouch on Gaara's lap and eyed it curiously. "May I?" she gestured towards the pouch.

He handed it to her and shrugged. "Whatever."

Sakura carefully opened the pouch and dumped the contents out into her hand. Six or seven smooth grey stones rolled out of the pouch. She picked one up to examine it more closely. She gave a tiny gasp when she realized that the tiny bumps and grooves on the stone were actually elaborate carvings. She examined the other stones and found that they all had similar decorations depicting people, patterns, and places. They were absolutely exquisite; Sakura could not imagine why anyone would want to get rid of them. "Where did you get these?"

"I made them."

Sakura stared at him in wonderment. "_You_ made these? How?"

Gaara raised his hands and lifted the top layer of sand off the dunes. Gaara rotated his hands and the sand to whirled in circles, building up more and more speed until there was a sand cyclone wreaking havoc on the dunes.

Sakura took this demonstration to mean that he used sand to carve the designs onto the stones. It must have taken him years to make such beautiful artwork. "Why are you throwing them away?"

"They're just stupid rocks." He scooped the rest of them off of Sakura's lap and hurled them into the distance.

Sakura was stupefied. She couldn't understand how he could just toss something so unique away like it was garbage. She knew just by touching them how hard he must have worked on them and the amount of heart that went into them. She couldn't believe how easily he could throw away a piece of his heart. "Why…?"

"Sand is a weapon and nothing more." Gaara stood up. "Intel says that shinobi from Iwa have set up a camp west of us. I'm taking a team with me to check it out. Standby for any civilian casualties we may come across."

"Yes, of course." Sakura stared out into the dunes. "I'll see you back at the camp. I just need a moment to think."

"We should return by nightfall," Gaara said before turning his back on her and walking back up towards the village.

When Sakura was sure that he wouldn't be returning she slid down the hill into the dunes. She wasn't going to lose her chance at holding a piece of his heart.

Dessert II.

"It's called Basbousa," said Sakura. "It's made with semolina and syrup."

Gaara lifted the plate off his desk and brought it eye level. "I'm going to eat this?"

Sakura shook her head slightly. "_We're_ going to eat this." She held up her hand and revealed twin sets of chopsticks. She smiled sheepishly. "I didn't get lunch today."

"Oh," said Gaara. "Oh, okay." He put the plate back down and sat back. "You first then."

Sakura perched herself on the corner of his desk and put her hand on her chest to feign hurt. "Don't you trust me?" She broke off a piece of the cake with two chopsticks and brought it to his mouth. "I promise you that it's not poisoned."

Gaara leaned forward and closed his mouth over the piece of Basbousa. He chewed thoughtfully while Sakura watched with a smile gradually conquering her face.

"Good?" asked Sakura.

"Sweet," replied Gaara. He took the second pair of chopsticks off the table and helped himself to some more of the confection. He reached out and held the Basbousa to Sakura's lips but just as she was about to take a bite Gaara quickly took the chopsticks back and swallowed the piece himself.

"Hey!" cried Sakura. She slapped him playfully on the shoulder. "You jerk! I told you I was hungry…"

"How sad for you," said Gaara deadpanned. He plucked Sakura's chopsticks from her hands and tossed them across the tent and onto the floor. "You should have brought more. There is only enough for me."

Sakura found his behavior oddly endearing. She continued to smile as she planted herself down on Gaara's knees. His back stiffened and she heard him take a small intake of breath. Sakura rolled her eyes. "I'm not that heavy."

"I didn't say you were," said Gaara quickly.

Sakura laughed. "Good." She tore off another piece of the cake and held it in front of Gaara's face. "We _share_." She brought the cake back up to her lips and took a bite. She closed her eyes and savored the sugary taste. When she opened her eyes she saw that Gaara's mouth was opened and smiling. Sakura laughed again and fed the rest of the cake she was holding to him.

The continued to eat the Basbousa this way until there was nothing left on the plate. Sakura giggled and brushed the crumbs off of Gaara's chin. "I'll have to ask the locals for the recipe so I can make you some more myself," said Sakura.

Gaara's sighed. His warm calloused hands swept away the crumbs on Sakura's face. "If this is what it takes to get you to eat I'll ask the cooks to make a hundred cakes for you."

It took a moment for Sakura to realize just how badly she wanted to kiss him. She brought her hand up to cup his face but when she remembered what he said about teasing him she quickly withdrew it before she could touch him. She was surprised when Gaara caught her hand and brought it to his mouth where he pressed his lips to her fingers. "I just don't want you to hate me," he said quietly.

Sakura's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "Hate you? Why on earth would I hate you?" Suddenly her heart was beating like a humming bird flapping its wings in her chest. Sakura brushed his messy red bangs off of his forehead with a shaking hand. "I don't hate you at all, Gaara," she whispered. Sakura found herself leaning in with her lips gravitating towards his. The were seconds away from touching when-

The door burst open and Gaara's assistant charged into the room. "Haruno-san!" he shouted. He took several labored breaths. He seemed to need a moment to collect himself. "We've been looking everywhere for you. We just rescued a team of genin from enemy territory. They're in real bad shape. We need you in the infirmary _now_. We don't know if they're going to make it."

Sakura shot up off of Gaara's lap. "Let's go! Take me to them." All she could think about was three eight-year-olds lying dead in a ditch.

She followed the assistant out the door with not so much as a second glance at Gaara. Had she looked over her shoulder she would have seen the Kazekage grimacing with his head in his hands almost as if it was all too much for him to take.

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**Desert II is my favorite that I've written so far. It's so cheesy. :p and cute! **

**THANKS! for all of the super kind reviews. I love you guys more than I think you'll ever comprehend.**

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	6. Pup

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

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Pup.

"Sakura?" Gaara asked blearily, rubbing his eyes. "Do you have any idea how long it took me to get to sleep? This better be important."

"It is," whispered Sakura. "Gaara, I think he's sick."

Gaara shot up in bed. "Sick?" he asked urgently. "Who's sick?"

"Satu." Sakura sounded like she was just moments away from panicking.

Gaara couldn't remember there being any shinobi or civilian in the camp that went be the name "Satu" thus he had no idea who Sakura was talking about. He yawned loudly and stretched his arms above his head. The sight of Gaara's long lean muscles flexing and extending was almost enough to distract Sakura from her present crisis. Gaara took no notice of this. He groaned. "You're the doctor. How am I supposed to help?"

"Gaara, Please," begged Sakura. "Please help me."

"Alright," he sighed. "Alright, where is this Satu?"

"In my bed."

Gaara looked horrified. "What the hell is he doing in your bed?" he snarled.

Sakura blinked unsure of what prompted this attitude. "We were sleeping together," she said.

"With me in the room?" his tone was both enraged and accusing.

"Yeah…" Sakura raised an eyebrow. "It's not such a big deal. We were being quiet."

Gaara put his head back down on the pillow. "Fuck Satu."

"This is serious, Gaara." Sakura grabbed hold of his wrist and used her strength to lift him back up and pull him across the tent towards her bed. Gaara put up little resistance but it was clear that he was not enthusiastic about meeting Satu.

"You know," said Gaara. "I would never bring another girl back to this tent."

"A girl? Oh," Sakura's eye lit up in understanding. "_Oh_. You don't think- Oh, Gaara…" she put her hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle. "_Gaara…_"

Gaara's cheeks flushed pink. It appeared that he did not appreciate being laughed at. "I'm going back to sleep." He broke free from Sakura's grip and tried to turn around. Sakura caught his hand again.

"Gaara…" she said softly. She laced her fingers in his and tugged on him gently. "I wouldn't do that to you." she smiled and dragged him over to her bed. "Come on."

"I want to go to sleep," he grumbled.

"Oh shush." She stopped pulling when they reached her bed. "_This_ is Satu."

Gaara gawked in disbelief. "Satu is a… a…

"Coyote pup," finished Sakura. "I think he's sick." She gently picked him up off of the bed and cradled him in her arms. He appeared to be simultaneously sleeping and panting. Sakura petted his fur softly. "It's okay, Satu. Mama and Papa are here now."

Gaara coughed. "Mama and Papa?"

"Auntie and Uncle then?" Sakura chewed on her bottom lip. "He won't drink his milk." She motioned to the bottle on her nightstand. "I'm worried."

"Where are his real parents?"

"Murdered by the enemy. The same goes for his brothers and sisters." She kissed little Satu's nose. "But we're going to take care of this baby together."

"Okay." Gaara pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. "Maybe he has a fever?"

Sakura nodded. "I took his temperature but I don't know what body temperature is normal for coyotes. I tried to use chakra to calm him down but that only made him cry." Sakura's own eyes were probably beginning to look bright and shiny to Gaara.

Gaara put his hand on Satu's head. "It feels hot to me. Let's fill up the sink and give him a cold bath."

Sakura handed Satu to Gaara and he held him awkwardly to his chest while Sakura filled the sink up with cold water.

When the first put Satu in the water Gaara had to hold the pup's head above water so he wouldn't drown. Sakura knew that Gaara was probably thinking that they were wasting their time and that Satu was a lost cause, but she couldn't let the little coyote die so easily. She knew in her heart that he was a fighter. "Just a little bit longer," she said. "He's going to wake up."

"I know," said Gaara. He used his free hand to rub Sakura's back in what he probably thought was a soothing manner. "Try using some chakra now."

Sakura didn't know how or why, but slowly Satu began to rouse and come to life. When the pup finally opened his eyes Sakura breathed an immense sigh of relief. She wiped away the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes. Satu began to splash around and made several escape attempts. Gaara had a difficult time holding him still enough for Sakura to infuse healing chakra into him. Sakura finally gave up and with a laugh she tried to throw water back at the baby coyote. "Satu is wild!" she shouted happily.

Gaara reached for a towel off of the wall next to him and scooped Satu up out of the water and wrapped him up. The pup continued to squirm until Gaara looked him in his eyes and said sternly, "Calm down, Satu." And the pup ceased his wriggling. Sakura laughed again.

"He loves you," she looked adoringly up at Gaara. "You're going to make the perfect father."

Gaara stared up at the ceiling; his cheeks faintly pink once more. "You have lost your mind."

Sakura felt a sudden rush of giddiness. "Can you build him a bed out of sand- no wait, that would be uncomfortable. Let's push our beds together and sleep the three of us together."

"Is this a joke?" asked Gaara disbelievingly.

"Sorry," His tone stung her. Sakura's cheer faded and her face fell. "I was just excited that Satu isn't going to die. He's just a little guy. I feel lucky that you helped me. I'm sorry that I'm probably being awkward." She held out her arms. "Give me Satu. The two of us will just sleep in my bed. It's plenty big."

"It's for the best." Gaara handed the baby coyote to Sakura. "We don't have the kind of relationship where we share a bed."

"I know." But to Sakura it still felt a little bit like a slap in the face. With all of that jealousy he was throwing around earlier she thought that he might feel differently. Now all she knew was that he was skilled at sending out mixed signals.

Sakura drifted off to sleep wondering what Gaara would have said if she told him that she wanted to have the kind of relationship in which they shared a bed.

When she woke up in the morning Satu was nowhere to be found. It was as if the entire night had all been a dream.

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	7. Candles

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

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Candles.

"What's going on?" asked Gaara. He scanned the room and looked for some sort of explanation. "Why did you light so many candles? And what is that smell?"

"The generator is out," explained Sakura. She held up a scroll. "I needed the light to read about these medical jutsus but all I had were these tiny aromatherapy candles. I had to light every candle I have or else it would have been too dark to see the print."

"I see." Gaara unstrapped his sand gourd and carefully placed it on the floor next to his bed. He stared thoughtfully at Sakura inciting a blush from her.

"Is there a problem? Are the candles bothering you?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No. It's just … the orange glow suits you."

Sakura hoped that the orange glow also disguised her dark blush. She stared down at her scroll and wished that tiny compliments like those didn't throw her into a girlish frenzy. She couldn't help but notice the reflection of the candlelight flickering in his eyes and they way it made the hard lines of his frown look so much softer. "Ah, thank you," she said casually. "The fire will also warm this tent so it will be easier to fall asleep."

"I won't be sleeping tonight. I'm leaving in a couple of hours," said Gaara. "I have to meet with what's left of the council in Suna."

"Oh." Sakura put down her scroll. "Well maybe you should take a short nap now?" She stood up. "I'll blow all of the candles out and go read in the infirmary."

Gaara nodded. "Thank you. I'd appreciate it."

"No problem." Sakura forced a smile. She picked up the candle on her nightstand and blew out the flame. "Would you mind giving me a hand?" she nodded toward the candles on the shelf behind him.

"Of course not."

They made quick work of extinguishing the flames between them, candle after candle. Sakura didn't know whether she would have gone to the trouble of lighting them if she knew how easily they would die. Soon only one candle remained. "The smell is really strong now," said Sakura.

"What is it?" asked Gaara. The light was so faint now that Sakura could just barely make out his features.

"Jasmine. It's supposed to be relaxing. You won't have any trouble getting to sleep now."

"Doubtful."

"I'm sorry." Sakura laughed. "I can open the tent up a little if you want. It'll air out pretty quickly."

Gaara shook his head. "I don't think it matters."

Sakura jumped to her feet. "No, no I've got it." But before she could make it to the tent flap she lost her footing and tripped over her shoes. Sakura's body came crashing to the ground and she fell flat on her face. Pain and embarrassment echoed through her bones. "Ouch?"

Gaara rushed to her side. "Some kunoichi you are," he said sarcastically.

"Shut up," Sakura groaned. She rolled over onto her back and let her body go limp. "You're just jealous of my grace."

"Not a chance." He knelt to the ground and offered Sakura his hand. She took it and he pulled her upright. They sat in silence for a moment until Sakura realized that she had not let go of his hand yet.

"Oh, um, sorry," she said, quickly releasing it. For the first time she noticed how small their tent was and how dark it had become. She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on anything but the quiet sounds of Gaara's breath. She was conscious of the heat radiating off of his body and could still smell his distinctly Gaara scent despite the juniper in the air. Her eyes shot open when she felt him take her hand in his once more.

"I don't like leaving you here alone," he said quietly. "It makes me worry."

Sakura scoffed. "Believe it or not, I am a more than capable kunoichi. I could probably kick the asses of all of the shinobi here at the camp."

He ignored her. "In my nightmares you're attacked while I'm away and I can't get back in time to save you. When I get to you it's always too late."

Sakura squeezed his hand. "I don't need you to save me. I can save myself. I'm not a little girl anymore." She laughed softly. "Besides, I need to stick around so that _I_ can save _you_."

"Concentrate on saving the innocent first," he told her.

"No." She leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm going to be selfish and save you first. _Always_."

"Because Naruto asked you to?" his voice had an edge to it.

"Because I _want_ to," she replied resolutely.

He shifted his body so that they were face to face. Sakura knew right then and there that he was going to try to kiss her and that she could not let that happen. If he kissed her then that would be the end; there would never be another man in her life. Her love for him would be so immutable that every time he risked his life her heart would break a little more. If he died she would die too. She also knew that there was a chance that he might love her to the same degree. This could not be. His duty as Kazekage needed to come before all else.

So when he cupped her face and leaned in she turned her head. His lips barely brush her cheek. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I get it." Gaara's jaw clenched. "I understand."

Sakura wasn't sure that he did. "I wish it didn't have to be like this."

"Fine." He stood up. "I think I'm going to get a head start on my way to Suna."

She wanted to tell him that he didn't have to leave. She wanted to kiss his lips and touch his body. She wanted to tell the damn council to wait so she could spend all evening, all night and all morning making love with him. She wanted to spend all day asleep in his arms dreaming about a life together without war.

Instead, she watched him fasten in gourd to his back and walk briskly out of the tent without giving her so much as a second glance. Her heart ached terribly.

Sakura clutched her chest and blew softly on the last candle. "Have a safe trip, Kazekage-sama."

* * *

**I wrote this between classes today. It's a little awkward and rushed, but I don't have the same standards for this story as I do with some of my others. Still, it's entertaining to write and hopefully entertaining to read. :)**

**The next chapter has genuine progress, but my regular readers will notice it is classically cattyjen.**

**THANKS for reviewing the last chapter. It really is my pick me up in the morning when I'm getting ready for school. Better than coffee, so don't leave me thirsty! **

**PLEASE REVIEW ?**


	8. Love

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

Love.

"Welcome back," said Sakura. "The generator is working again."

"I can see that," replied Gaara.

She smiled. "What did you and the council talk about?"

"Konoha." He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "They seem to think if we break our alliance with Konoha and side with Iwa the war will end sooner. I'm going back there tomorrow to further discuss the issue."

"Oh," said Sakura in a small voice. "Should you really be telling me this?"

"_I_ don't break alliances," he said harshly.

It sounded to Sakura as if he was insulted that she would even hint at it. Sakura stepped closer to him so she could more clearly see his eyes. "You're a good man."

He shook his head. "Not really."

"Why do you think that way?" Sakura was struggling to understand him.

"I'm not a man I'm a killer," he said seriously.

"No," Sakura sighed, "you're a shinobi, and you're the Kazekage. You do what you need to do to protect Suna," she paused, "even if that means turning your back on Konoha."

"No," he shook his head again. "Betraying Konoha is not in Suna's best interest. The council knows this."

"Then why?"

"Because they are desperate. Naruto will grapple with this decision too." Gaara straightened up. "But you already know all of this."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"

"It's why you're here, isn't it?"

The tent felt too quiet. Sakura shook her head. "I don't understand. I'm here to help with the wounded. I'm here because Naruto wants me to protect you."

Gaara narrowed his eyes. "You don't have to lie. By now I've figured you out."

"Figured me out?" Sakura was still confused. "I'm not lying."

"You're an insurance policy," said Gaara coldly. "You're here to remind me not to betray Konoha and stop me if you think I'm going. You're supposed to do it by any means possible." He glared at her. "But Naruto knows that if he betrays Suna then I _will_ kill you."

"Insurance policy?" Sakura repeated. She felt like she was going to be sick. He was talking nonsense. "You think I'm an insurance policy?"

"You don't have to pretend not to know about it. We both know we've just been playing our parts. It's like a game."

Sakura couldn't believe her ears. A game? "So was all that stuff you said about wanting to protect me a lie? Was the ice cream, the flowers, the dress…?" Sakura's face was on fire. She was going to die of embarrassment. She thought these things meant that he had liked her. "You let me sit on your lap and feed you. Oh, god," she put her hands over her eyes, "I'm an idiot. How could you let me make such a fool out of myself?"

He had been manipulating her. She had no idea he would be such a good actor. He didn't want to protect her because of his feelings for her or her worth as a medic; no she was a different kind of tool. She was a political tool. She wasn't clear on what exactly he stood to gain from a romantic relationship with her but she knew that she wasn't going to stick around long enough to find out.

Gaara backed away from her. "Why are you acting so innocent? Don't act like you're anything better than a whore."

How could he say these things to her? Did he really believe that she was… a _whore_? Sakura raised her hand to slap him but his stand stopped her before she could touch his face. "I was wrong," her voice was shaking, "You're not a man you're a bastard. You're vile and disgusting and pathetic and…" She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I trusted you."

Gaara's eyes were blazing and the sand's grip on Sakura's wrist tightened. "I'm the bad guy? If you expect me to believe that you're mission is not to do everything within your power to ensure that I don't break the alliance with Konoha-"

"My mission is to protect you!" Sakura cried. "My mission is to treat your shinobi and save the lives of your people. I didn't know anything about the alliance!" she pulled furiously on her wrist to break free from the sand. She had to get away from him. "I didn't know I would fall in love with you."

The sand released her arm and she stumbled backwards. Gaara's face was _livid_. "You're a liar!" He shouted. "You don't love me. " he shook his head, disgusted with her. "Don't make me laugh. You're mission is to seduce me except that you can't even do that right. That would mean that you'd actually have to let me touch you and you would never let that happen. You hate me. I don't know why you can't just admit that you've been lying this entire time. There is no reason to keep up the charade. We both know that it's all just politics."

Sakura shook her head fervently. "No. No, it's _not_ politics. These feelings are real!"

"Stop lying!" Gaara trembled with rage. "You're bringing shame to Konoha. You had a mission to manipulate me and you failed. I knew all along that you felt nothing for me. And I feel nothing for you either. You said things and you did things, but I could see through it all. The flowers, the dress, the promises- I just wanted you to know what it felt like to be strung along."

The room was silent for a long moment. Sakura wiped the tear off of her face with her shoulders. Something in the room was dying and it was happening inside of her chest. She took a deep breath. "If you want to break the alliance with Konoha that's your prerogative. Whichever way you choose won't matter to me because I won't be here when you come back."

"I never wanted you here in the first place." Gaara spat.

"Neither did I." But it was a lie. "You were right," she tried to keep her face as emotionless as possible but her voice gave her anguish away. "I hate you. I'm glad I failed because the idea of you touching me makes me want to vomit."

"You don't ever have to worry about that ever happening. By the time I get back here tomorrow you'll either be dead or in Konoha."

Sakura looked him straight in the eye. "Well which do you prefer, Kazekage-sama?"

"I think you'll get what you deserve."

Bile rose in her throat. "_You _deserve to go to hell."

"I'm in hell!" The sand came roaring out of his gourd. "You need to get out before I throw you out." The sand plowed into her trunk and pushed it towards the folds of the tent. Sakura closed her eyes and braced herself. Her clothes were thrown, her shoes were pelted, and her sheets and bedding went flying across the tent. The sand lifted her pillow and… the room fell silent. Sakura waited a moment before opening her eyes. The sand was hovering in the air, motionless but no doubt ready to resume it's rampage in any moment.

"Why did you stop?" whispered Sakura.

"Sakura," Gaara's voice shook. "What are those?" he pointed to the stones that were once underneath her pillow.

Sakura's eyes welled with tears once more. She didn't think it was possible that she could be any more humiliated than she already was. "I thought they were valuable. I was going to sell them," she lied.

Gaara gave her a long searching look. "You're… you're _lying_. You're a _terrible_ liar."

"No! I'm not lying." He couldn't know the truth now. Not after what he said to her. She couldn't handle that kind of torture. "I took them because I don't respect you. I thought it was a waste something vaguely interesting was being thrown away. I wanted to make money."

He backed away from her, seemingly horrified of all things. "Why did you take them? Why did you really take them?"

"I told you," she answered impatiently. "I just wanted to get some free cash. I was going to –"

"Tell me now!" he demanded. "Tell me the truth.

"I'm sorry." She broke down. "I'm so, so sorry."

"No." Gaara stared open mouthed in horror. "No. No, Sakura, no."

Suddenly she just didn't see a point in lying anymore. "I just wanted to be close to you," she whispered. "I thought that maybe you felt the same way about me."

Gaara shook his head slowly. "If you liked me so much then why were you always pushing me away and making excuses?"

Sakura wiped her tears away. "I'm afraid. You cheat death everyday you fight. If I get any closer to you than I already am and something happens to you… I don't think I'll be able to stand it. And I would be a liability to you. Neither of us can afford to fall in love."

Gaara seemed to be having a little trouble taking it all in. "I didn't know…I didn't know…"

Sakura took another deep breath to steady herself. "I was serious when I said I was leaving. You won't have to worry about me doing whatever it was you were accusing me of doing."

Gaara's sand dropped from the air and streamed back into his gourd. "The council showed me a mission report with your name on it."

A forgery. "Believe what you want to believe."

He seemed to be too dumbstruck to say anything so instead he just nodded.

Sakura cleared her throat. "I think it would be best if I left immediately."

Gaara stayed silent as Sakura collected her belongings but his eyes carefully watched her every move. When Sakura had the nerve to look up at him he seemed like he wanted to want to say something, but words never left his mouth. This only served to further embarrass Sakura. Part of her actually still hoped that he would apologize and tell her that he loved her and they would forget this ever happened. But Sakura knew that this was not the way the world worked. Oddly enough by the time she had finished packing she was almost at peace with it all.

She had fallen in love with the Kazekage and he thought that she was an incompetent whore.

He didn't see her out and he didn't tell her goodbye.

Sakura bit back the threat of another onset of tears and held her head high. She left their tent and never once looked back.

* * *

**So... I realized that it's common for me to have characters that lie about their feelings to protect themselves. It kind of made me wonder if I write that way because maybe that's something that I do too. I wonder if this kind of thing is common in the real world. **

**Anyhoo...**

**THank you. THank you. THank you. THank you. for the reviews. **

**Help me celebrate friday by sending me more reviews. Let me know what you really thought about the chapter. **

**Oh and P.S this isn't the last chapter if that was what you were afraid of. ;)**


	9. Burn Shoes Close Abandonment

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

Burn.

It had been three months since Sakura had last seen or spoken to the Kazekage. The first couple weeks had been unbearable. She knew that Naruto suspected that something had transpired between them and her behavior did nothing to convince him otherwise. She was clearly miserable. Naruto tried to talk to her about it but Sakura couldn't put her heartbreak into words. Thankfully, everyday she missed him less and less.

But she kept it all hidden in a trunk underneath her bed. The dress, the flowers, the recipes- she didn't have the strength to burn them. She would never have the strength to burn them.

Shoes.

"Get your shoes on," said Naruto urgently. "We're going to Suna."

"What?" asked an alarmed Sakura. "Why?"

"There was an attack. Gaara and at least a dozen shinobi are in the hospital. You need to help the other medics and I need to help fight what's left of the enemy. This might be our chance to win this thing."

"Right." Sakura nodded dumbly. "I'll go get my shoes."

_Gaara…_

Close.

There were fifteen hospital beds lining the walls of the Suna hospital ICU. Sakura used up every last ounce of chakra she had in her to treat fourteen of the patients. The fifteenth patient had his own personal medic, a pretty brunette woman who when she wasn't busy checking his vitals she was sitting by his bedside holding his hand and resting her head on his shoulder.

The Kazekage had replaced her. Gaara had a new medic and by the looks of it she wasn't a woman who held back. She wasn't afraid like Sakura had been afraid.

But Sakura didn't feel fear now, now she just felt ill. The room was spinning and the floor kept threatening to disappear out from under her. She gathered up her remaining strength and stumbled out of the hospital and across the street to the building where she and Naruto had taken up residence. She had to get out of the hospital before the Kazekage woke up and saw her there. She didn't think she could live with the humiliation of having to meet his new girlfriend. The rest of the staff informed Sakura that this woman, this _Aoko,_ was the finest doctor to ever come out of Suna and the only one that the Kazekage would allow to treat him. They had been out in the desert together for the past three months and had grown very close.

Sakura collapsed onto the floor in the bathroom and retched into the toilet, emptying the entire contents of her stomach in seconds.

Abandonment.

"When you left the hospital you looked like you were going to be sick," said Temari. "I thought I would bring you some tea and make sure you were okay."

Sakura stared at her. She didn't want tea; she wanted to be left alone. "Thanks," she showed a strained smile. "I'm fine though."

Temari seemed to be considering this. "Can I come in?" she asked finally.

Sakura didn't feel like she had much of a choice in the matter. "Please," she stepped aside from the doorway and letting Temari pass through.

Temari put the tea tray down on the table and sat down and then gestured for her to do the same. "I was very surprised to find you in Suna."

"Oh?" Sakura sat down carefully, her bones tired from her long journey.

"Yes," Temari poured tea into the two cups. "After what happened out in the desert with my brother I didn't know if you would be brave enough to come back here."

Sakura tensed. She found Temari's tone to be almost… accusing. "What happened in the desert?" she asked slowly.

Temari's eyes locked with Sakura's. "You abandoned my brother."

Sakura's jaw clenched. "You obviously don't have even the faintest understanding about what went on out there. You shouldn't speak so freely about things you know nothing about."

Temari looked taken aback. "I'm wrong? Did you not pick up and leave without giving any warning?"

"Is that what he told you?" Sakura asked in disbelief. "That one day is just decided to up and leave without telling him why?"

"No," Temari shook her head. "He didn't tell me anything. He won't talk about it."

"Well that's a shame," said Sakura sarcastically. "He really has a way with words."

Temari picked up her teacup and sipped thoughtfully. "He said something to make you leave."

"I told that him I love him and he called me a liar and a whore. Then he admitted that he had been stringing me along for the past year. So yeah, he said something that made me leave. Would you have stuck around after that?"

Temari looked uncomfortable. "You have to understand, he doesn't-"

"No," said Sakura. "There are no excuses. He's not a child; he's the Kazekage. He should know how to act by now. He should know that saying those things to a girl would only hurt her. He couldn't have expected me to stay after that. I wasn't staying as an agent of Konoha, I staying there as his friend." Sakura closed her hand around the cup of tea and tried to absorb its warmth. "Besides, he has a new friend now. He doesn't need me anymore."

"She's not what you think she is. She's trying, but my brother will never let her in. They don't share a tent like the two of you used to. She's only that close to him because he's unconscious."

This knowledge left a mounting pressure in her chest. "It's none of my business."

"How close did _you_ and my brother get?"

"That's none of yourbusiness." Sakura couldn't believe that Temari had the gall to even ask. "And it doesn't matter. What ever might have been between us is over now."

"I don't think that he knows that," said Temari quietly.

She could feel her heart being squeezed like putty in a child's fist. "What do you mean?"

"He's scouring the city for you. I told him you were here but I didn't tell him where."

Sakura's throat began to close up. "W-what?"

"He won't find you until you chakra replenishes. You still have time to leave Suna if you don't want to see him."

She didn't. "There is nothing that he could possibly say that would make up for what he said to me before. I can never forgive him."

"You won't know unless you try," said Temari.

"There wouldn't be any point in forgiving him. He doesn't feel anything for me. He said so himself."

"My brother is crazy about you."

Sakura shook her head. "He's not," she said simply. "It was all just politics."

"It was _not_ just politics." Temari reached into her bag and pulled out a stack of envelopes. "He never mentioned a thing about politics."

Sakura stared at the envelopes. "What are they?"

"Letters," said Temari. "Letters about you."

"_Me_?" Sakura didn't understand it. "Why on earth would he write letters about me?"

"Beats me. I know everything about you now though. How else would I have known which tea to bring you?" She lifted the teapot. "This is your favorite."

It was her favorite. She didn't know that Gaara paid such careful attention to her likes and dislikes. "I see…"

"You're right," said Temari. "He's the Kazekage, he should know better than that. But you have to understand that he's also Gaara. He's insecure. He grew up thinking that he was a monster and that he could never be loved. All this war, all this fighting- it doesn't do much to convince him otherwise. He sees himself as a monster more now than ever before. And when it comes to loving him if you whisper yes and then scream no you're going to confuse him."

"But whether I love him or not doesn't matter. It's not realistic. We can't be together. Not at a time like this. Not in the midst of all of this war."

Temari raised an eyebrow. "What would be so wrong with a little bit more love in the world. How can you so readily admit defeat? You can't predict the future. You have to live your life while you can."

Sakura brought her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them. "I've already made up my mind about this."

"Just talk to him-"

"I think you should go now," said Sakura. "I need some rest before I check on the patients in an hour."

Temari stood up. "Just think about it."

"I'm done thinking about it." Sakura pointed to the door. "Just like I'm done with this conversation."

And just like she was done with the Kazekage.

* * *

**That last scene kind of reminds me of a scene from another one of my stories but it fits in really well. LOL. I literally just sat down and wrote this. TOTALLY un edited and everything. Teheheheh. **

**THANKS THANKS THANKS THANKS so much for all of the reviews. I am really grateful towards my reviewers. You guys make my life. **

**So leave another review? It won't hurt, I promise. **


	10. Apologies

**Dizclaimer: I do not Own Naruto.**

* * *

Apologies.

Sakura stood in the doorway of the Kazekage's office and watched Gaara quickly rise to his feet to meet her at the door. "I didn't come here for you," she said coldly.

Gaara stopped walked and stared at the ground. "I know."

It angered Sakura. She didn't want to see him acting timid or apologetic. She wanted him to be a man and own up to the mistakes he made. "Then why am I here?" she asked.

"I don't know." He hesitantly looked up at her face. "I guess I wanted to see you again and make sure you were okay."

"Is that all?" She needed for him to prove his feelings for her.

He shook his head. "I wanted you to know that I'm sorry and that I know how badly I screwed up. I was wrong… about everything."

His words didn't do anything to fill the emptiness inside of her. It had been painfully obvious how wrong he had been. It did nothing to hear him admit it. But then again, she didn't know what words he could possible say to her that would earn her forgiveness. He had broken her heart and that wasn't something a simple apology could cure. "Thank you," she said stiffly.

"Sakura," Gaara paused, "I want you to come back with me to the village. We could really use your help."

Sakura couldn't believe he had the audacity to even ask. "Why the hell would I do something as insane as that? You have _Aoko_-san now. You don't need my help."

"She's not you," said Gaara quietly.

"I don't care. I'll tolerate you, Kazekage-sama, I won't hate you but I won't like you either. I have no intention of being your friend and will under no circumstances return to that village with you. I'll ask you nicely never to bring the idea up again, for both of our sakes."

"I'm sorry," Gaara breathed.

"I don't care."

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

Sakura heaved a disgusted sigh, "Is that all you know how to say?"

"No," Gaara's jaw clenched. He took a deep breath. "I… I… l-lov-"

"No!" Sakura shouted, putting her hands over her ears. Even if she did forgive him nothing about their situation would be any different than it had been before. Even if they were friends again that would be all they could ever be. They could not be in love no matter how much they loved each other. She swallowed the lump in her throat when she saw the look of shock and hurt on Gaara's face. "I forgive you, so just stop. Don't say any more. _Don't_."

Gaara shook his head and laughed humorlessly. "You must have been so relieved when we had that fight. You were just dying for a reason to leave."

"Excuse me?" Sakura gaped at him in disbelief. "You kicked me out! You accused me of _terrible_ things and then you kicked me out. None of it was my fault."

"You're just too happy to play the victim aren't you? What was I supposed to think? I never once hid my feelings for you. I don't think I could have been any clearer. You on the other hand? You follow me into the shower, you bring me to festivals, you kiss my cheek, you sit on my lap, you want to share beds, you put your head on my shoulder, you make promises to me- and when I try to kiss you, when I try to confess to you- you go running off in the opposite direction as fast as your legs will carry you. What the hell am I supposed to think? How am I supposed to know what's wrong with me?"

Sakura couldn't stand listening to his excuses. "You should have believed that I would never do anything to hurt you!"

"Why?" demanded Gaara. "You were already hurting me. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't sleep at night knowing that you were just a couple feet away from me. I knew that you were warm and soft and I could lie there just counting your breaths. I would imagine what it would feel like to touch you and what your skin would taste like. Everyday you would make me think I had a chance to be with you and then you would snatch it away. You were torturing me, and even now I don't understand why."

She wasn't going to let him turn the tables on her. She had done nothing wrong. "This isn't about you! This is-"

"You're right," he said. "This is about _you_." Gaara straightened up. "I'm going to say it once and if is really that disgusting for you to hear then you can turn around and walk out on me again and I won't stop you. You can go back to Konoha and I'll learn to stop thinking about you." His eyes locked with hers. "I love you, Sakura."

Her heart stopped. "I…" she could tell by the look on his face that he had meant his words. He loved her. She shouldn't have been surprised but she was. She shouldn't have been unprepared but she was. "I…"

Her heart started beating again and she turned away from him. She ran out of his office, she ran out of Suna, she ran into the desert and she didn't look back until she was already halfway to Konoha.

She loved him. She loved him with her entire heart and soul.

But they couldn't be together. Nothing could change that.

* * *

**Everyone was so poed with G that I wanted to show them what it looked like from his perspective. S just doesn't know what she wants. She wants him to apologize, she doesn't want him to apologize, she wants him to love her, she doesn't want him to love her. etc etc. Poor G! She's always giving him hope and then running away. :(**

**Well, THanks for the reviews. Writing this is such a nice relief. I can just sit down and write a short chapter and then feel happy inside. I'm working on PWK but I'm only halfway through. This story is just a lot less pressure to write. It makes me happy inside. So again, THank you. I appreciate these reviews like none other.**

**Leave me another review? I promise that the next chapter will have a little more... action in it. ;)**


	11. Realizing Risk Letters

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**I know I promised action, but this is more of a plot progress chapter. Action will be in the next?**

* * *

Realizing.

"He's beautiful." Sakura made sure the baby was wrapped snuggly in his blanket before handing him to his mother. "He's one hundred percent healthy too."

The new mother took the baby from Sakura and cradled him in her arms. She looked exhausted but joy was still evident on her face. "I can't believe that he's finally here. Those nine months felt like an eternity. I've waited so long for this moment."

Sakura picked up the metal clipboard hanging off the end of the bed. She scanned the chart and pulled out a pen from her coat pocket. "What are you going to call him?"

"His name is Isamu." The new mother kissed the baby's forehead.

"Courage." Sakura hummed. "That's a lovely name."

"His father picked out the name."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "He's going to be upset that he missed the birth. Most men are really excited to see their sons born."

The new mother smiled sorrowfully. "His father was killed five months ago in Iwa."

"Oh," Sakura was at a loss for words. "I'm sorry," she said awkwardly.

"Don't be. It's not your fault." She held the sleeping baby close. "Besides, we had three good years together before the war started and now I have a son to remind me of him. It's like having a piece of him with me."

"You don't regret it?" Sakura realized that it wasn't the most sensitive question she could ask but she had to know.

"Sometimes maybe… but I know I would regret it much more if we had never gotten a chance to be together."

Sakura couldn't fathom why the new mother's words made her feel so hollow inside. It wasn't until weeks afterward that she stopped thinking about what Gaara would want to name his first son and what it would be like to hold that child.

Risk.

"If you take this medicine twice a day, with breakfast and with dinner, your back pain should go away." Sakura handed the old man the bottle of pills. "You can come back when the bottle is empty and one of the nurses will refill it for you."

The old man smiled and bowed his head. "Thank you so much, doctor. I will be glad to finally be rid of this pain."

"All he does is complain!" The old woman said as she laughed and patted him on the shoulder. "But I still love him anyways."

"Of course." Sakura smiled warmly. "How did you hurt your back? Did you fall? Or maybe farming?"

"Oh, no," said the old man. "This is a war injury. When I was a chunin my team was attacked by six jounin. I was lucky to escape with just this one wound."

"You fought in a war? You're a shinobi?" asked a surprised Sakura.

"Sure did," answered the old man.

"Oh, that was such a long time ago!" said the old woman, taking the old man's hand in hers. "We were eighteen at the time. We got married right before he was sent off."

Sakura couldn't believe her ears. "You got married? How? Why?"

The old woman gave her a funny look. "We got married because we love each other."

"But… but…" Sakura scratched her head. "Weren't you afraid that you would never see him again? What if he had died? What if you had died?"

"I would have been heartbroken of course," said the old woman. "I was afraid of all of those things. I used to have nightmares about it. Sometimes I still do."

Sakura refused to back down. "Then why did you marry him if you knew that there was such a big chance that he would be killed? Weren't you afraid?"

The old woman looked up and the old man looked down. They shared a smile. "It was worth the risk," said the old woman. I had a chance to spend the rest of my life with the man I loved. I would have been a fool not to take it."

Sakura felt something painful tugging at her chest. "Didn't you miss him when he was away?"

The old woman shook her head. "He wrote me letters."

Letters. Like the ones Sakura had hidden in an old cigar box underneath her bed? The letters she could bear to read but couldn't ear to burn? She hadn't realized that Temari had left them until she got home and opened her bag. She had no memory of putting them in there. She figured that Naruto must have stuffed them in there when he brought her stuff back for her. He couldn't understand why she had just left without even checking in on her patients. Sakura didn't want to explain it to him. He was married after all. She didn't know what he would say if she told him the truth about Gaara.

The old man seemed to be caught in the land of nostalgia. He rubbed his back thoughtfully. "Life is too short to be afraid of love. In some ways I think it's what kept me alive. It was that extra incentive to make it home safe."

"I see." Sakura offered a strained smile. "I have other patients to see now. Please take care of yourselves."

The old woman rested her head on the old man's arm. "We'll take care of each other."

As Sakura watched them leave she struggled to remain composed. What the old couple had went through meant nothing to Sakura and her endless thoughts of Gaara. Nothing at all.

Letters._(excerpts) _

T-

_It's 100 degrees and sunny. There's movement on the eastern front. We have 12 wounded but nothing life threatening. Have K. send reinforcements east and not west. Keep genin in S. for as long as possible. S.H sat in the shade and studied scrolls all afternoon. I worried that her fair skin would burn but she seems to be fine. She was humming a song I couldn't recognize. I will try to find her some music._

-G

T-

_It's 30 degrees and there is no moon tonight. I am going to I. tomorrow, for what purpose I haven't discovered yet. We have no wounded but an outbreak of a mystery illness gas taken a village to our south. S.H is leaving to assess. I'm worried something will happen to her. I am reluctant to let her go but I have a difficult time saying no to her. Make sure P. is at K. and W._

-G

T-

_S.H cut her hair. See attached drawing. Send team 8 to F._

-G

T-

_86 degrees and sunny. 20 wounded. 8 shinobi and 12 civilians. S.H is working hard. If we were paying her I would give her a raise._

-G

T-

_45 degrees, waning moon. Just returned from K. N. is holding up well. Agreed to work with B. 5 wounded, team 2 is dead. Bodies with messengers. Condolence letters attached. S.H helped me write them. She talks to me now. Send white tea._

-G

T-

_20 wounded, 3 missing, 1 dead. It would be worse if S.H weren't here. I will try harder to get her to eat._

-G

T-

_Hot out. Killed 30. 1 genin team missing. Morale is low. Both S.H and I can't sleep. Keep C. in S. and send A. east. Order more kunai. What news from C.? Try reasoning._

-G

T-

_50 degrees, sun setting. Caught S.H dancing with team 9. Tempted to send them to the frontlines. Killed 8 today, wounded 4. No end in sight. Send more medical supplies._

-G

T-

_80 degrees sunny. Send me semolina. Remind me to fire assistant. 3 genin wounded. I'm going to meet enemies and avenge. Send J. to east. Tell C. to go to hell_.

-G

T-

_30 degrees, full moon. 12 wounded. 2 enemy POW. Send A. west. Send veterinary books. Arrange meeting in R. Note: S.H looks stunning in green_.

-G

T-

_Send new medic ASAP. Confirm S.H safety in K._

-G

Sakura used to sit and watch him think. She would wonder what was on his mind. It would be a lie to say that she didn't suspect some of his thoughts were about her. He had been right when he said that he had never tried to hide his feelings for her. The things he said to her, the way he looked at her- she wasn't stupid and she wasn't blind. _She_ had been the one sending out mixed messages. She should have seen and understood his confusion.

After reading the letters she could only understand one thing; at that moment her love for Gaara severely outweighed her fear for her heart. She couldn't think of a single legitimate reason why she wasn't with him now. Why should she spend the rest of her life thinking about a man when nothing in the world was stopping her from being with that man?

She risked losing her heart to love no matter if it were wartime or peacetime. Times of war were when the world needed love the most. There was always a chance that one of them might die. She had to believe that they were strong enough people to get through it and make the right decisions. They owed it to themselves to try.

Turning her back on Gaara was a mistake. A monumental mistake. If there were a chance, if there were any chance at all-

She had to try. Trying was the best anyone could ever do. She had to try.

* * *

**I wrote this in between classes! Do you think Sakura is finally getting the message?**

**Some of those abbreviations in the letters I just pulled out of the air. Some of them are slightly more legitimate. Those are just a few of the letters Gaara sent Temari. **

**So I'm fairly certain I only have one or two chapters left to write. This story _will_ have a happy ending. **

**THANKS THANKS SO MUCH for the reviews. I am incredibly thankful for reviews because they let me know people are actually reading the story and actually enjoy doing so. I've had the most fun writing this story out of anything I've written before. I don't know why. I guess it's because it's so quick and spontaneous. **

**So leave another review :) please?**


	12. Searching Death

**Okay, don't kill me for this chapter. I know I promised action but I decided when I wrote this this afternoon that I wanted to break it into two parts. (Hopefully) The next chapter will have some happiness.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

Searching.

"Where is he?" Sakura's eyes frantically searched the empty tent. "Where is he?" Her heart was beating out of her chest. She needed to see his face. She needed to tell him how she felt. The words were screaming in her head.

"Is someone in here?" came a soft voice.

"Yes?" Sakura whipped around and stared at the source of the voice. That cute medic Aoko had poked her head in the folds of the tent and was staring at Sakura with an unreadable expression on her face. "Where is he?" Sakura asked for the third time.

Aoko stepped into the tent. "Where is Kazekage-sama?"

Sakura heaved an exasperated sigh. "Where is _Gaara_?"

The brunette narrowed her eyes at Sakura. "Who are you and why do you need to know? You can't just come barging into the Kazekage's tent and call him by his first name."

It wasn't just Gaara's tent; it was Gaara _and _Sakura's tent. She really wished that this girl would cut the crap. Sakura and her pink hair were legendary in the medical field. If this was half as good as they said she was then she knew exactly who Sakura was. It was also highly unlikely that she didn't know that Sakura was her predecessor. It was clear that for some reason or another, Aoko did not like Sakura and was not going to make this easy for her.

"I'm a medical-nin from Konoha," explained Sakura. "I'm here to deliver an important message from the Hokage."

Aoko's frown was a thin dour line. "Give me the message and I will give it to the Kazekage."

"I'm sorry," Sakura smiled apologetically, determined to play her part. "It's a confidential message. It's for the Kazekage's ears only." She only had these feelings for him. No other man could compare.

"Well," Aoko said slowly, "he's not here right now. You'll have to come back another time."

Come back another time? She had traveled all night through the forest and through the desert to get to the camp and she didn't make a single stop along the way. She was going to see Gaara. She would not let this girl stand in her way. "This message is urgent. I can't wait to tell him. He has to hear it now." Her voice sounded frantic even to her ears. She knew better than to hope that she wasn't arousing suspicion in the other girl. "Please…"

Aoko gave her a cold and calculated look. "He doesn't want you anymore. You're wasting your time."

Sakura didn't even consider that these words might be true. If his feelings for her were anywhere near as intense as hers were for him then spending a few weeks apart was not going to change his heart. Whether or not he was going to give her another chance was a separate issue all together. "Where is he?" Sakura demanded through gritted teeth.

"We're going to be happy together. You have no right to ruin things for us."

Sakura was quickly losing her patients. Gaara was her man. Gaara's heart belonged to her, and not some stupid little medic who had fantasy confused with reality.

If Gaara was indeed at the camp Sakura would have sensed his chakra. It was impossible to spend a year living with a man and not be able to tell if he was within a twenty-mile radius. Gaara was gone on a mission. If this medical-bimbo wasn't going to tell Sakura where he was then Sakura was going to use her brain and find out for herself. Sakura turned her back in Aoko and began to tear through Gaara's belongings looking for some sort of clue.

There were no unusual books or messages on his nightstand. She opened his wardrobe and took inventory of what she found. Everything was accounted for accept his cold weather gear. Gaara was someplace where he needed a heavy jacket and boots. She imagined him knee deep in snow with rosy red cheeks and frozen fingers. In her vision he was in dire need of some hot cocoa.

What was it that she over heard Naruto discussing with team nine? There were rumors of disturbances in Yukigakure. Gaara must be in the land of snow.

It was at least a three days journey to the land of snow. There was no telling if he would even be there and no telling if he would even give her the time of day. There were a million reasons why Sakura should just turn around and go home. If she had any sense she would forget this year even happened and go on living her life without him.

_Hell_ no.

"Sakura-san?" Aoko's voice had lost it malice.

"What now?" asked a tired Sakura over her shoulder.

"At least have something to drink before you go." Aoko nodded towards the tea set on the table. "Gaara keeps plenty of white tea in stock. He told me that it's your favorite."

It was exactly what she needed. Sakura needed to sit and have a cup of hot tea before she planned out the next facet of her journey. She needed to think through what she was going to say to Gaara to win him back. She was a smart girl and she needed to focus her entire brain on the task. She just needed him to hear her out. Sakura sighed.

"Good idea," she said. "I need to take a breather."

"No problem," Aoko smiled sweetly. "I just want Gaara to be happy."

It never occurred to an exhausted and distracted Sakura that Aoko's vision of a happy Gaara didn't include a pink haired medic-nin.

Death.

It was cold. Why the hell was it so damn cold? She couldn't feel her hands. She couldn't feel her feet. Her clothes were soaked through and her skin was burning. Her skin was on fire.

If only she could move her arms, then she would be able to wipe her eyes. She tried opening them but all she could see was white, white and wet. Was she crying?

It finally occurred to her that it wasn't tears that were flowing through her, but death. She was dying. The knowledge should have at least startled her but instead Sakura couldn't remember ever having felt this calm before in her life.

She should have been putting up more of a fight. It wasn't like she wanted to die. She had a lot to live for. She had friends, family, purpose. There was no doubt that she was strong enough to survive. It was just that… she wasn't going to survive. It wasn't that she was giving up. She wasn't accepting it. She was only really vaguely aware of what was going on around her. She could hardly remember her own name. Death was just what was to come. She was just going to ignore it and let it pass. Maybe something was waiting for her on the other side.

* * *

**Am I evil or what? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Oh and that Aoko is a see you next tuesday! (excuse my dirty mouth!) XD**

**What's going to happen next? Who knows :p**

**I kid... No lies- I _do_ intend to have a happy ending :D**

**But you're totally diggin these everyday updates aren't you? I like this better (for this story) than waiting to post longer chapters. Rest assured that my other stories (when I get around to updating them) will be normal length. ;)**

**So Dank u for the reviews the last chapter received! This story isn't as popular as my others but I think I enjoy writing it 10x as much. I don't know why. To me it just has this mood to it. All of my stories feel like a different mood to me. I think your preference in my stories depends on what kind of mood you're in. Well then, I guess I'm in this mood ^_^**

**OH PLEASE leave me another review :)**


	13. Waking Sick

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

Waking.

It was warm. Her hair was damp but her skin was dry. Her eyelids fluttered open.

There was a ceiling above her. She squinted. It appeared to be made out of black painted bricks. She looked to her right and saw a table and chair. To her left were a dresser and a nightstand. It became evident to her that she was in a bedroom. Whose bedroom she didn't yet know.

She slowly sat up, ignoring the aches and protests of her joints. Her eyes were immediately attracted to the only source of light in the room, a roaring fire where the Kazekage was sitting crossed legged with his back facing her. From her angle she could not gage his level of consciousness. She leaned back and slowly let out a long breath. Sakura was alive and she was in Gaara's bedroom. How in the world did she get there? She closed her eyes again and tried to focus. Within moments she had fallen back asleep.

Sick.

The second time she awoke the room was empty. She felt slightly more rejuvenated and was able to roll out of bed. She blushed when she saw what she was wearing; Gaara's pants, Gaara's socks and Gaara's shirt. She tried not to get excited. Just because he had loaned her some clothing didn't mean he was happy to see her. He was simply acting hospitable. There was absolutely nothing romantic about it.

There were no windows in the room. Sakura could feel the frigid air leaking in through the chimney so she was able to deduce that she had somehow made it to Yukigakure. She remembered leaving the camp and she remembered reaching the land of snow, but after that her memory was fuzzy. She could neither account for the gap nor make a conclusion as to why her memory was failing her. It was a mystery she was hoping Gaara would help her solve.

It was no sooner that her thoughts had turned to him then the steel door slid open and the Kazekage walked through. "You're awake," he said briskly.

Sakura nodded hesitantly in affirmation. "I just woke up."

Gaara shut the door behind him and crossed his arms. "Good," he said. "You will answer some questions now."

Sakura felt her fatigue making a comeback. She was determined to overcome the feeling. "I will answer what ever questions you need me to."

"Why are you here?" he asked bluntly.

Sakura chewed on her bottom lip. "I ran through the forest, and then through the desert. I made it to the camp but you weren't there. I thought that you might be in Yukigakure so I ran here too."

Gaara narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean 'ran'?"

"I mean," Sakura said slowly, "that I put on my shoes and put on my back pack and ran until my legs gave out." At least that was what she assumed had happened. She must have been exhausted from her journey and passed out in the snow.

"You were poisoned," said Gaara. "At some point during your travels you ingested poison. Do you remember when that might have been?"

"I didn't eat anything- wait that's not true, I had some tea back at the camp."

Something flickered in Gaara's eyes. "You stopped at the camp but you didn't eat?"

Sakura shrugged her shoulders. "I didn't want to get cramps. But to tell you the truth I wasn't hungry. All I could think about was getting to y-" she stopped herself before the words could leave her mouth. She was too embarrassed to admit it out loud. Maybe she wasn't ready to share her feelings with him. Maybe she had made a mistake coming here. "Was getting to the village. All I could think about was the village."

"So it must have been the tea."

It must have been _Aoko_. That little backstabbing bitch drugged her. Sakura felt like a moron. How could she have been so blind? She was a world class medic-nin. How did she not recognize poison in her cup? This was exactly why thinking about the Kazekage was dangerous. She was beginning to doubt herself. Her fixation on Gaara led her into disaster. There was a chance that it would have been worth it if he looked even remotely pleased that she was standing before him in his bedroom of all places. If anything he looked just the opposite. His posture was rigid and his face was expressionless. What had she been thinking? She had responsibilities. It was crazy to think that she could just drop everything and chase after the Kazekage.

"I found you a hundred miles south of here," said Gaara. "You were unconscious buried under a foot of snow. If I had gotten there any later you would have been dead. You're lucky to be alive."

Sakura wasn't sure what to say. She backed up a couple of feet and leaned against the wall. Whether she knew it or not she was distancing herself from him, only this time there was nowhere she could run to. "I'm sorry," she took a breath to calm herself. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"Why are you here?" Gaara asked tiredly. "I don't have the energy for this, Sakura."

She began to wonder if he had missed her at all. He wasn't looking at her like the way he used to. He was _glaring_ at her. He had said that he was going to move on… Sakura just didn't expect it to happen so soon. It hadn't even been a month since they last saw each other. She hoped that his love was stronger than that. She didn't want to believe that she had lost him. What if Aoko had been telling the truth? What if he was with her now?

"Sakura?" he asked more forcefully this time. "Why are you here?"

"I… I…" She hugged her chest and took a deep breath. "I freaked out."

Gaara narrowed his eyes. "What are you saying?"

When did the room get so hot? Sakura swallowed dryly. "There was an old woman… her husband, he had back pain. Oh, and there was a mother with a baby named Isamu. I thought that they were crazy, but maybe I'm the one who's crazy," she looked up and saw that Gaara was frowning. She recognized that frown. It was the same one that he showed prisoners of war when they wouldn't give up information fast enough. Gaara was losing his patience with her. "Yeah," she said softly. "I'm crazy."

Gaara began closing in on her. "You came all this way to tell me you're crazy? All of this was for that string of nonsense?" he asked angrily.

Sakura could feel her pulse starting to race. "Yes." She couldn't tell him. It would complicate things too much. She had already proved to herself that it was only going to cause trouble. And it was clear to her now that he only felt disdain for her. She was nothing to him now. She was certain now that he had moved on to Aoko. "I'm just here on a whim."

Gaara leaned down and pinned her to the wall with his arms on either side of her head. "Bullshit," he breathed in her ear.

Sakura gazed up at him. How did she live with this man for a year and not notice the magnificence of his eyes? She missed the way his eyes used to soften when she entered the room. She missed his clean scent. She missed the careful melody of his voice. She missed the steady rhythm of his nervous pacing. She missed the tickle of his sand rushing past her bare skin. She missed the curious way he held his chopsticks. She missed washing his dirty clothes. She missed the tiny smiles he had reserved only for her. She missed the way he would hold the flap of the tent open and wait for her to walk through first. She missed him. But now it was over between them. She had missed her chance.

"I was just restless," she lied. "I just wanted to go on a little journey."

Gaara shook his head in obvious disgust. "You're full of shit."

She didn't know how to react. She had never been the recipient of Gaara's wrath. She peered over his shoulder and saw that his gourd was starting to shake and rattle. "It's not a bid deal. I like to travel. What do you want from me?"

He stiffened. "Not a big deal? What do I want from you? I want you to stop lying and say it. I want to hear you say it."

No. She had already made up her mind about it. Sakura could hear the sand pouring out of his gourd. "What are you talking about?"

"Say it," he demanded.

She was starting to feel lightheaded. He was too close to her. She was trapped. "I don't know what you mean."

"Say it." His voice shook with rage. A sand cyclone began to form above their heads.

She was dizzy with panic and wanted nothing more than to disappear. "I can't…"

"Say it!"

How the hell was she supposed to live the rest of her life without him? "I love you!" she shouted. "I'm here because I love you and I had to tell you." Her voice broke. She closed her eyes and tears began to pour freely down her face. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

"You are a fool." Gaara said, his hands sliding off the walls and falling to rest on her hips. The storm overhead dissipated and the sand trickled back into the gourd.

She slowly opened her eyes. Now she had embarrassed them both. He had a war to think about. He didn't need some silly kunoichi making love declaration and crying all over the place. Especially not _this_ silly kunoichi. He probably wouldn't mind hearing it from Aoko. If he didn't hate her before he sure as hell did now. "I'm sorry…"

He pulled her closer and his jaw clenched. "You should be." His grip on her hips tightened.

She tried to free herself of his hands. "Gaara, I-"

"You make me sick," he said. "You make me physically sick."

"I'm sorry!" What more did he want from her? She stared longingly at the door on the other side of the room. If only she could wiggle out of his grasp.

He continued to hold her firmly. "You just think you can do whatever you want whenever you want. You don't care about anyone's feelings but your own. You think that you can just up and decide that you love me and expect everything to fall into place. You are a fool."

"I said I'm sorry!" cried Sakura. She _knew_ that he wasn't going to forgive her for their last meeting. He thought that she was just jerking him around some more. Maybe she didn't deserve a second chance with him. It was obvious that he had stopped caring about her. Coming here was a mistake. He would despise her forever after this. She couldn't bear the thought of it. "Just let it go!"

"Let it go?" he roared. "_Let it go_?"

"Yes!"

He pushed her back against the wall and she stopped struggling. "Haruno Sakura," he said, his voice deathly calm. His eyes bored down into hers. "When you leave Konoha you tell someone where you're going. You don't just go running off in the middle of the night."

Sakura's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "What?"

"Do you…" he took a ragged breath. "Do you have any idea what it does to me when I get a message from Konoha saying that you're missing? That no one has seen you for days. No knows if you're dead or alive. I sent a message to camp. No one there had seen you either."

Her head was swimming. He was… worried about her? "Aoko saw me," Sakura said quietly. "She's the one that gave me the tea."

Gaara growled. "There is a war going on! You can't go disappearing into the night! You're important to both the Hokage and the Kazekage. Do you have any idea what kind of danger that puts you in? You can't just go drinking something that a stranger gives you."

He wasn't being fair. "She's not a stranger! She's your medic!" she protested.

"Fucking hell, Sakura…" he let go of her and put his head in his hands. "You could have died! You would have frozen to death. Do you know how big the land of snow is?"

"Very big?" she replied weakly.

"I couldn't find you!" He took is hands away from his face and Sakura could see his anguish. "And when I did find you I thought you were dead. Your skin was cold and I couldn't feel your pulse. I thought that I had lost you."

Sakura suddenly felt very much like a young child. "I didn't know that you cared so much…"

"Care? _Care?_ Did you lose brain cells out there in the snow? I _love_ you, Sakura. You mean everything to me."

Sakura didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He still loved her. He was angry with her because he loved her. He was sick with worry, not repulsion. Maybe she still had a chance. Maybe he had forgiven her for pushing him away all those times. "I feel the same way about you." She smiled hopefully and started towards him. "So maybe you can understand why I had to find you. I needed to see you."

He backed away from her and shook his head. "This is just you screwing with my head. You're always just screwing with my head."

His words were a slap across her face, but she was too tired and too hurt to prove him wrong. She swallowed the lump in her throat and willed herself not to start crying again. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Gaara sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I need to cool off." He was halfway to the door when he turned around. "A woman named Kiku is going to come by and give you a check up. Anything she gives you, food, drinks, medicine is alright to take. She's our friend and she's the one that healed you."

"Okay," said Sakura. "Wait, what are you going to-"

But before she could finish her question he was out the door, slamming it shut behind him. Sakura was left all alone to agonize over every word that had just come out of his mouth and whether or not they had a future together.

"Well," she said to no one in particular. "That went well."

* * *

**This was supposed to be the last chapter but I decided it would be better broken in half. You'll just have to wait a _little_ longer for the conclusion and _happy_ ending. **

**THANK YOU REVIEWERS !! I love waking up for school in the morning and checking for emails from the professors (hoping class will be canceled) and reading reviews. It makes C.J so happyyyyyyy**

**So make me happy. PLease :) leave another review. **


	14. Soap Nightgown

**Okay. This is all really rushed. I hope you enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. **

* * *

Soap.

"What's Konoha like?" Kiku said idly as she lathered shampoo into Sakura hair.

"Well…" Sakura sunk down lower into the tub to give Kiku better access to her head. "It's very green, mostly from the leaves on the trees. We have a temperate climate. It gets hot sometimes but nowhere near as hot as it gets in the desert."

"I heard that you were in the desert before with Kazekage-sama," Kiku said. "For how long were you two together?"

"Almost a year." Thoughts of Gaara made the bathwater feel ten degrees colder.

"Tilt your head," Kiku ordered She poured a bowl of water on top of Sakura and rinsed her hair clean. "We soaked snow blossoms in the water so you're going to smell irresistible. I have a feeling you're going to make the Kazekage a very happy man tonight."

Sakura drew her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. "I think Gaara would be a very happy man if I left tonight."

"You're kidding, right?" asked Kiku. "The Kazekage has only been here a couple of weeks but I think I have a good idea of the type of man he is. Whenever something bad happens that is out of his control he reacts with anger. Anger is actually his reaction to a lot of things. I think he's angry right now but in time he'll calm down. He made it very clear when I was healing you that you were someone who was very important to him. Here," she handed Sakura a bar of grey soap, "this soap was made with pressed winter buds. If the snow blossoms don't do it for him the winter buds will."

"I don't know," Sakura sighed. "I think this time might be through with me for good."

"Nonsense," said Kiku. "I'm cooking a dish for you that I always make when my husband and I have a fight. You and Kazekage-sama are going to eat a nice dinner and forget about all of the silly problems you're having. Trust me. This all will blow over."

"I hope so," said Sakura. "I really do."

Nightgown.

He was silent. Not once did he look up from his plate.

Sakura felt ridiculous. She looked down at the dress Kiku had loaned her and grimaced. She was wearing a glorified nightgown. Kiku promised that the short length, shimmering material, and spaghetti straps would entice Gaara, but the man didn't even so much as look twice at her. Sakura had never been more embarrassed in her life. She felt as if she was throwing herself at him and he was rejecting her. If he really loved her he wouldn't be doing this to her.

As the meal wore on Sakura's embarrassment turned to anger. Finally the feeling overwhelmed her. She dropped her fork and pushed her plate away. When Gaara still refused to look up Sakura hurled her ceramic teacup across the room and it shattered against the wall.

Gaara flinched. "What the hell is your problem?"

Sakura took a shaky breath. "You're being unfair."

"I'm being unfair?" Gaara squinted. "What the does that even mean?"

"I'm twenty-five years old and I'm a jounin."

"Your point?" asked Gaara impatiently.

"I don't need to ask for permission from you or anyone else in this world when I want to leave Konoha. I'm allowed to go wherever I want. I'm not a little girl."

"I never said that-"

"I'm sorry that you have some sort of messiah complex. I don't need you to save me. I wasn't poisoned by an enemy shinobi. I was poisoned by that little psycho you keep as a pet. How was I supposed to know I couldn't trust her? How would that have been any different if I had told someone that I was leaving Konoha?"

"I would have come to you," said Gaara. "You don't belong here. I wouldn't have let you come all the way out here."

"You wouldn't have _let_ me?" Sakura sighed exasperatedly. "It's not up to you! Are you saying that you love me so much you would want to take away my personal freedom?"

Gaara shook his head. "You're twisting this-"

"Are you somehow under the impression that I don't worry about you? How many sleepless nights did I spend wondering if you were alive back when we were together? How many days did I wait for you? How many times did I put you back together just have someone tear you apart again? I never said a single word about it. I trusted that you would take care of yourself. I knew that you were doing what you needed to do any there was nothing I could do to stop you."

"That's different. You-"

"And another thing?" Sakura continued. "This whole 'screwing with your head' business? Let's not forget what happened that made me leave the camp. Who was screwing with who when you accused me of trying to seduce you for political gain and then told me that you had just been stringing me along for a couple of months? You were intentionally trying to hurt me. I have never purposefully hurt you. Never."

Gaara crossed his arms. "I said I was sorry about that."

"And _I _said that I was sorry about pushing you away and running from you." Sakura tried to look him in the eyes but he was staring fixedly at his plate. "It took me a while to get to this place, and I don't mean to Yukigakure. I love you. I have always loved you. I just didn't think that a relationship was prudent or possible. Some of my patients made me realize that if we love each other there is no reason why we can't be together. That we shouldn't let war get in the way of love. I love you, Sabaku no Gaara. I love you and I want to be with you no matter what."

The admission was a catharsis that her body badly needed. If she really wanted him she needed to tell him. She needed to let him know how deep her feelings for him ran and how willing she was to try to make things work. She needed him to look up and acknowledge that he had at least heard her. She couldn't bear the thought of being rejected again. "Say something, Gaara," she tried to keep desperation out of her tone. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"This…" Gaara slowly looked up at her face. "This feels unreal."

"It's real. I love you." Sakura laughed despite herself. "I _love_ you."

Gaara abruptly rose to his feet and raced across the room. "I'll be right back," he called, running out the door.

There was no way that Sakura was going to let that man slip away. She chased after him, running barefoot in the snow in that skimpy dress. She didn't even feel the cold. All she could think about was following Gaara no matter where he was headed.

He led her back to his little cabin where Sakura pushed through the door after him, just as it was closing. "What are you doing?" she asked as she watched him rummage through his backpacks. "What's going on?"

"This!" Gaara lifted a small wooden box above his head triumphantly.

"What is it?" Sakura moved to stand beside him.

"It's for you." He handed Sakura the box. "I made it."

Sakura took the box in her hands and smiled strangely. The box was really nothing special. She was tempted to set it down for fear of getting splinters. It was made out of ordinary wood that could be found in any nation. "Thanks," she said, unsure. "It's interesting."

Gaara rolled his eyes. "_Inside_ the box. It's _inside_ the books."

"Oh," Sakura laughed sheepishly. "Right." She carefully removed the lid and looked down to see what Gaara could possibly be giving her at a moment like this. "Oh, Gaara…" Sakura lifted the heart shaped stone up by the thin chain attached to the top. She didn't think that there could be anything more stunning than the stones he had thrown away before. This stone heart put them the others shame. It was only about the size of her thumbnail but the tiny carvings that covered the face were so detailed and so intricate that Sakura found it to be larger than life. She closed her fist around it and looked up. Gaara was shuffling his feet nervously.

"Temari said that girls like things that are in the shape of hearts. I've been working on it for a couple of months now."

Sakura's eyes began to tear up. He made her a present. He _made_ it. He didn't buy it. It must have taken him hours. She took this as a sign that he had forgiven her. It meant that he was accepting her. "It's wonderful. I don't just like it, I love it." She held it out to him. "Help me put it on?" she asked shyly.

He nodded and took the necklace from her hand. "Turn around."

Sakura obliged. She lifted her hair up and held it to the top of head. The heart in her chest began to thump wildly. She could feel Gaara's warm breath tickling the back of her neck and his fingers brushing her skin. After what felt like an eternity he finally announced that he was done and Sakura slowly let her hair back down. It took a moment for her to gather enough courage to turn around and face him. She was surprised to see the return of his frown. "What's wrong?" she asked softly.

"You skin is freezing," said Gaara. "You should have waited for me to come back to you."

Sakura could have been annoyed but she didn't want to ruin the moment. "Well maybe…" she put one hand on his chest and reached up with the other and traced his frown line with the tips of her fingers. "I came all this way to see you… I wanted to be with you. I was didn't want us to be apart." She bit her lip. "How does that sound?"

Gaara furrowed his brow. "What do you mean by that?"

She couldn't believe that he wasn't taking the hint. For a split second she wondered if he didn't _want _to take the hint. Maybe he didn't want to be with her after all. Maybe it was supposed to be a gift to represent his platonic love for her. She felt her stomach sink. "Listen, Gaara…"

Her voice trailed off as Gaara leaned in and cupped her face with one hand. He tilted it upwards so he was looking directly into her eyes. "Because I think I know what you mean, but I've been wrong before." His other hand found her waist and he drew her in closer so that their thighs touched. "I don't think I can handle being wrong again."

Time seemed to be moving in slow motion. The look on Gaara's face was honest and his hold on her waist felt firm. He had powerful hands. Hands that could do anything. "You weren't the one who was wrong," said Sakura. "_I_ was the one who was wrong."

"Well then," he said quietly, pulling her even closer. "Let me make it right." He closed the distance between their mouths and gently kissed her. It was a sweet kiss, simple and pure. There were no motives and no misgivings. Seconds later when he released her Sakura could not keep a smile from spreading across her face. He rested his forehead against his.

"I've been waiting a long time for that," she murmured.

"Was it worth the wait?" Gaara asked seriously.

"Yes," Sakura giggled.

"Good." Gaara threaded his fingers in her hair. "Then you are going to love what comes next." And then he crushed his mouth to hers and allowed himself to kiss her with abandon. The force caused Sakura to stagger backwards. She balled her fists in the fabric of his shirt and blindly dragged him with her across the room until she finally slammed into the wall.

His body was warm and solid pressing against hers. She pulled him closer and tried to concentrate on the electric sensation. His tongue pushed past the seam of her lips and she felt her legs turn into jelly. He had to position his knee between her legs and hold her up by her waist to keep her from melting into a puddle on the floor. He completely devoured her mouth. His tongue tangled with hers. The kiss was so intense that Sakura had to wonder how long he had had these feelings pent up for. She couldn't remember at time when she _didn't_ think about kissing him senseless. They shared hot breaths before his lips descend the slope of her neck.

Sakura moaned softly as Gaara sucked on and nipped at the delicate skin of her throat. Her stomach dropped when she felt his teeth scraping her neck and tongue sliding over her racing pulse. She threw her head back and allowed him to leave fluttering kisses on the underside of her jaw.

When she realized how tightly she was clutching his shirt her hands decided that they would much rather be touching his skin. She tried pushing him away but he somehow took this as encouragement to kiss her mouth again, long and deep kisses that made Sakura forget how to breathe. She pushed him away again this time using more force. She immediately regretted this when she saw the look of pure dejection on Gaara's face. "Gaara…" she tried to steady herself but he spoke before she could get the rest of the words out of her mouth.

"Don't do this to me, Sakura," he pleaded. "Not now."

Not ever. Sakura smiled coyly. "Do you really think you can deter me from my plans to undress you?" She tugged on the bottom of his shirt. "Let's see some skin, Kazekage-sama."

Gaara laughed and Sakura would swear that he was blushing too. In one swift gesture his shirt was over his head and discarded on the floor. Sakura was now face to face with the Kazekage's naked torso. She had always been very appreciative of the view. Now it was her turn to blush. It wasn't just the sight of muscles that warmed her. It was the sight of _Gaara's_ muscles that sealed her fate. She reached out and brushed the pads of her fingers across his chest her hand coming to a rest on top of his steadily beating heart. "Kiss me again," she whispered.

Once again she found herself flattened against the wall with his hungry lips on top of hers. This kiss was different. It wasn't gentle and it wasn't about tasting her or testing the waters. This kiss was hot, hard, furious and wanting. This kiss meant business. The butterflies in her stomach were replaced with sharp waves of desire. They were moments away from doing what they should have been doing months ago. Gaara released her mouth to press kisses to her cheek and nip at her ear.

"You smell…" he groaned. "_Good_."

"Yeah?" asked a dazed Sakura. She buried her face in his neck and took a shaky breath. He smelled like the desert. Something deep inside of her started to ache.

Gaara slipped his fingers past the hem of her dress and began to trace lazy circles on the silky skin of her inner thighs. "It's your turn now." He pressed a lingering kiss to the hollow of her throat. "Take off this _nightgown_."

Sakura gasped as his fingers gravitated higher and moisture began seeping in between her legs. "It's a dress!" she cried indignantly.

"The hell it is." He shook his head. "Walking into the dining room dressed like something out of my fantasy. I almost keeled over."

Sakura leaned in and met his lips for a smooth and languid kiss. Hearing him confirm his attraction gave her an extra boost of confidence. "If it bothers you so much help me get rid of it."

Gaara pulled down one of her dress straps and began kissing her shoulder. "Gladly" he said in a low husky tone. He pulled down the other strap and began slowly easing the dress off of her. He smiled slightly when it hit the ground. "I knew you would look better without it." He kissed a trail across her shoulders and down her sternum until his lips met the lacy fabric of her bra. "This has got to go too." He reached around her and easily unhooked the back.

This was real now. Sakura swallowed. There was no going back.

Gaara stroked her breasts with on hand and the inside of her thighs with the other. Sakura felt like she was floating. She could barely comprehend that he was showering her face with kisses. She gave a tiny whimper when he pinched and pulled her nipples. There had to be a limit on how good a man could make a woman feel, but rules never applied when it came to Gaara. She wound her arms around his neck and pulled him close. He understood instantly and both of his arms encircled her waist. They stayed like that for some time before Sakura became consciously aware of his hardness and realized that they needed to speed things up. Sakura took his hand and led him over to the bed.

She slowly slid her underwear off of her hips and down her legs, loving the dark predatory gaze Gaara fixed on her. She made sure her eyes never left his as she lowered herself on to the bed. Her entire body felt flushed and she waited for him to follow her. She closed her eyes and felt him reign wet kisses across her chest stopping at her breast to tease her pert nipples with his teeth. Sakura had to remind herself to breathe. Time was starting to melt and the room felt hot and hazy. His trail of kisses began to travel lower and lower. He gently pried her legs apart.

First came two fingers, easily gilding in and out, torturously slow. Sakura begged him to go harder and deeper but he refused to listen and instead went right along teasing her. Just when she thought the aching was unbearable she realized that she was Haruno Sakura, the most badass kunoichi to ever step out of Konoha, and she was not going to sit back and let him do all of the work. Without any warning she rolled over and pinned him to the bed under her. The look on his face was priceless. Sooner or later he was going to have to understand that, though breathless and aching, she was not completely helpless.

Sakura smiled mischievously. "Kazekage-sama." She lightly kissed his cheek. "You're an awful bully. Don't you know that you shouldn't tease innocent girls?"

Gaara raised an eyebrow. "Innocent?"

Her smile widened. "You can be the judge of that one." She lowered her mouth to his neck and slowly kissed her way to his collarbone.

"Definitely innocent," Gaara called.

Sakura bit back a giggle. She continued on kissing down his chest, her kissing growing gradually hotter and wetter as she descended. When she finally brushed past his navel to the waistband of his pants she came to a sudden halt before backtracking her way up his chest. She rewarded his tensing muscles with shy licks between kisses. She was pleased to see that Gaara's eyes were closed and that he was practically purring with delight. She smirked. He had gotten too comfortable.

She kept one hand stroking his chest and lightly grazing her fingernails over his muscles while the other began deftly unbuttoning his pants. As soon as Gaara heard her unzipping the fly his eyes shot open. "I thought I'd help you out," Sakura said. "You're not exactly dressed for the occasion."

"Do you hear me complaining?" Gaara put his hands behind his head and stretched. "Continue."

Sakura could not believe this man's audacity, but she decided she might as well play along. "Yes, Master," she said, trying to keep a straight face.

"No." Gaara quickly sat up startling Sakura in the process.

Sakura's heart flip-flopped in her chest. Was he rejecting her? Wasn't it a little late to be doing such a thing? She didn't want to let her insecurity show. "What do you mean 'no'?" Sakura asked in a quavering voice.

"I mean don't call me master." He ran a hand through his sweaty red hair. "I've been wrong. You don't need me to take care of you. I shouldn't have given you a lecture. I was worried. I'm sorry."

She hadn't been expecting an apology. She thought that this was just one of those times when he would assume he was forgiven and never speak about it again. For him to admit that he made a mistake, for him to say it aloud… Sakura knew why she loved him so much. He was man she could respect and admire as well as care for and want to see naked. She pulled his neck and brought him in for a passionate kiss to which he responded to enthusiastically.

A loud rapping on the steel door interrupted them. "Kazekage-sama!" the caller shouted. "Kazekage-sama it's urgent!"

Sakura doubted that whatever emergency was occurring outside could not possibly be more urgent than her desire. Her body felt hot and swollen and her heart was in a desperate flutter. She could just imagine the delicious friction her skin was about to make against his. She wanted to show him just how inappropriate it was to use the word innocent to describe her.

But there was a war going on, and Gaara was the leader of a powerful shinobi village. It would be selfish to make him stay. Sakura sighed and left a fleeting kiss on his mouth. "Go," she said. "It's your duty."

"Duty," Gaara repeated, his expression stony. "How does duty outweigh a beautiful naked woman trying to get me out of my pants?"

"Kazekage-sama!" the voice was louder and the rapping more forceful. "Kazekage-sama we need you!"

"I'll be waiting here when you get back," she smiled gently. "And I won't put any clothes on."

Gaara groaned and took a deep breath. "I need a minute."

Sakura's eyes darted from the bulge in Gaara's pants to the door. She had to know what emergency was so important that it had the power to interrupt their night together. She wrapped the blanket on the end of the bed around her like a toga and opened the door. A messenger was standing on the step with his arm raised and ready to knock again. Sakura wanted to punch his lights out. "Hello," she said with false cheer. "I don't believe we have met. My name's Sakura."

The messenger flushed a dark shade of red. "I didn't realize…"

Obviously not. "Yes, you _have_ ruined the moment. May I ask what is the nature of your visit?"

"The Kazekage's sister has arrived with a team of chunin," explained the messenger quickly.

"_So_?"

"Well… they are um… hungry."

It took all of Sakura's will power not to slam to door on his face. She could feel the murderous aura emanating from Gaara behind her and heard the sand rattling in his gourd. Sakura flashed a very strained smile. "I see. I trust that they can find their own food with out our help. You can tell Temari and her chunin that Gaara is _very_ busy and they'll have to wait until morning to see him." She paused for a moment. "Make that afternoon."

The messenger nodded earnestly. "Yes, m'am." He looked over her shoulder at the glaring Gaara. "Sorry for the intrusion, Kazekage-sama."

Gaara growled. "Spread the word. Anyone who comes anywhere near this door in the next twelve hours is going to learn what a sand coffin feels like."

"Of course," The messenger bowed hastily before running off through the snow in the opposite direction.

"Have a goodnight," Sakura called before closing the door.

"I can't believe that anyone-" started Gaara.

It was all he was able to say before Sakura lunged at him and threw her arms around his neck letting the blanket fall off of her body. "Now where were we?" She kissed his chin. "Oh yes, the beautiful naked girl was trying to get you out of your pants."

She leaned in to kiss his chin again but he intercepted her lips with his and turned what was supposed to be a playful kiss into something much heavier. The heat between her legs grew. Just moments ago he was touching her. Why on earth did she make him stop?

It was so that she could level the playing field. While he was distracted with the kiss she began sliding his pants and his boxers off of his hips. When she wrapped her hands around his erection his mouth left hers to exhale sharply. "Not so innocent, huh?" she whispered in his ear.

"_I'll_ show _you_ not so innocent," Gaara smirked.

Sakura bit her lip. "You've got twelve hours, Kazekage-sama. Let's see what you can do."

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**Well, you all have Unorchestrated to thank for this. If it weren't for her I don't know if this would have ever been posted. I kind of lost inspiration and got busy with other stories. Whatev. It's here now. Next is a short Epilogue. **

**Thanks for all the review you've all given throughout this story. YOu're awesome! **

**Review if you're feeling it. **


	15. Epilogue

**Okay! Here is the Epilogue. It's so fluffy and corny I fight the urge not to slap myself silly. But today I'm feeling like an optimist. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

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Epilogue_

"Okay," Sakura said to the night nurses gathered in the hallway. "I just finished rounds. There shouldn't be any problems."

"Even with that annoying old man in room twenty three?" one of the nurses asked.

Sakura sighed. "I just gave him some morphine so it should be okay."

"Dr. Haruno?" the receptionist called, emerging from around the corner of the adjacent hallway. Her eyes landed and Sakura and she smiled. "There is a visitor here for you."

Visitor? Sakura wasn't expecting any visitors. That's when she sensed a familiar Chakra signature. She dropped the clipboard she was holding and raced down the hallway. She didn't breathe until she saw a lone figure sanding in the middle of the reception area and even then she didn't stop running. Without giving him anytime to even utter a hello she flung herself into his arms and buried her face into his neck. "Gaara!" she cried. "You're here!"

Gaara laughed and held his ground. "I'm happy to see you too." He gently pried her off of him and held her by the shoulders. Sakura could see the excitement in his eyes. "There is something I have to tell you," he said. "And then something I have to ask you."

Sakura felt her heart start to race. He was smiling. "So, spill!"

"The kage's have all signed a peace treaty. The war is over."

_The war is over_. Sakura felt her legs give out from under her, but Gaara caught her before she could hit the ground. Before she knew it tears were rolling down her face. "Thank you. _Thank you, thank you, thank you_."

"I wanted to be the one to tell you." Gaara wiped her cheeks. "This is for real." He carried her over to one of the chairs against the wall and set her down. "It was all finalized this morning."

Sakura put her hand on her chest and tried to steady her breathing. "This is just…" she laughed. "_Finally_."

No more piles of dead shinobi. No more sobbing family members forced to identify maimed corpses. No more war. They could begin to rebuild.

Gaara sunk to the floor at her feet. "To continue what we have is going to be complicated. There isn't a precedent or protocol for this."

"What are you saying?" Sakura asked slowly. Was he… breaking up with her?"

He took her hands and kissed them. "I know that this is really sudden and I don't need an answer right away. I completely understand if you don't want to be married to me but just know that I really, really, really want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Sakura blinked and her face broke into a stupid smile. "Kazekage-sama, are you _proposing_ to me?" It was a wonder she didn't pass out right then and there.

"Yeah." Gaara nodded slowly. "This is me proposing. Am I doing it wrong? I don't actually have a ring yet but I can get you a really nice one if you want. In Suna it's customary for a man to buy a woman a goat when he's proposing, but I didn't think that you would want one… but if you do…"

Sakura laughed. "You can keep the goat and save the ring for the ceremony. I'm going to marry you and we're going to have the biggest wedding in the history of Suna and Konoha. Just you wait."

"So…" Gaara reached upwards and cupped her face. "That's a yes then?"

"Yeah…" Sakura said. "That's a yes."

Sakura almost jumped out of her skin when the entire reception erupted in applause. She looked around and saw that all of the night nurses and patients who weren't sleeping had crowded into the halls and had watched their entire exchange and were now clapping and cheering.

"Kiss her!... Kiss her!... Kiss her!..." the crowd chanted.

Sakura's face turned beet red and before she could protest, Gaara pulled her to her feet and captured her lips in a kiss. She didn't put up any struggle and wrapped her arms around his neck and gave into the kiss.

The war was over and the next chapter of her life was just beginning. Sakura realized that she had a lot of look forward to and she was ready to face any hurtles that might stand in her way.

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**I wrote this in like 20 minutes. hahaha. Oh boy. Well, its over. Finally. COMPLETE! No unfinished business and no tragedy. It feels good :) **

**THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for all the support. I love you guys. I hope we'll have some other updates soon. **

**Let me know what you think and REVIEW the nights away. **


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